Curious Notions

“I would do just about anything for that boy, how painful I can’t be open about that.”
I think the part that’s heartbreaking to me about this is that you don’t need to be open about it, because he probably KNOWS that you’d do anything for him, and yet he doesn’t seem to make the effort to show that he’s anywhere close to doing the same for you. :-( I won’t beat a dead horse, but I just want to make sure you’re appreciated at some point or another. *hugs* I’ll send you more tea if you need it. :-)

I’m sorry that things aren’t really going your way at the moment. Given the economy situation at the moment, most industries are not at its peak form nor ideal conditions…. don’t worry too much about it. If your work performance was REALLY as bad as you think it is, you’d be called in for a talk by now.

Relationship-wise, you can wait for a lifetime for a guy to love you back and not have it happen. I think Cindy is right about A. knowing that you’d do anything for him… and that unfortunately is his best card at avoiding having to make a decision about making that commitment to you. Basically in his mind he’s made it quite clear to you where he stands, if you choose to continue being in this relationship, that is YOUR choice… therefore you bear any heartaches that he may be causing you…. which is also why you know why you can’t be open nor ‘complain’ about it.

This will continue to consume you unless he change his stand in this relationship with you. Until then, you need to decide if you want to continue putting yourself through this unhappiness.and/ or set a deadline for when you call it quits. Just remember that the ball is thrown back in YOUR court. You call the final shots now, not him.

Hope you’ll find something that works for you soon. In the meantime, *hugs*

i’m just feeling beaten up

and work did give me that talk, my friend who is a manager told me they actually had a meeting on whether to fire me or not

they decided since i’m only screwing up now and not the whole three years, they’re giving me one last straw…

which means i’m now looking for a new job
but i dont want to stay in this field
so i’m probably gonna take a big paycut