I have this list of things I want to experience at least once in life… On this list you can find skydiving (check), shoot different types of guns (check), travel travel travel (in progress), try escargot (check) and try out a brazilian wax (check!)
Today after work, I bit the bullet finally. A friend of mine just recently had hers done for the first time a few weeks ago and she swears she won’t ever do it again. Something about the pain not being worth it. She said the lady did not use gloves and she didn’t let them go after her strays with tweezers. Determined to still try, I emailed all my girl friends to see if they had any Brazilian waxer they would swear by. None of them ever had their little girl part professionally waxed cept one. This soul told me she’s gets a regular bikini wax and wouldn’t ever do a Brazilian. She gave me the name (Sharon) and location (The Beauty Store and Salon – in the Central Market shopping center). I had this name for a week now but between New York and being sick (today was my first day back at work this week) I didn’t have the time. Emboldened by the cabin fever I was developing from being couped up in the apartment, I made my appointment for today yesterday.
Walked into the store and the salon is in the back. I told the cute blond in the front that I had an appointment. Took deep breaths as I wandered the store mindlessly. I actually purchased something called a Miracle Stone but I think it fell out of my purse? Can’t seem to find it. It’s suppose to help prevent ingrown hairs after bikini waxes.
Five minutes passed and Sharon finally got me. Breathing deep. I tried to conjure up all these personal painful memories to brace myself. Getting the wind knocked out of me from my airbag going off last summer. Spinal surgery as an adolescent. Eyebrow waxing. Indian burns. I thought if little Eva Longoria could do it, I can do it. If I could jump out of a plane and shoot a rifle… what’s a little hair? RIGHT?
Sharon tells me I should keep my underwear off if I want to make it easier for her. Do people really leave it on?
“You’d be surprised how many shy girls insist on keeping on their underwear.”
Huh.
So I’m on the table and she’s spreading the hot wax. I do some deep Lamaze type breaths. She rubs on the cloth strip and I noticed no gloves as well. Maybe since my friend and I are both in the healthcare profession, we’re sticklers for gloves? Do waxers not use gloves?!
She counts down for me. “5, 4, 3, 2” Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiipppppppppppppppppppp.
Motherfu…..!!!!!
Immense unbelievable amount of pain for 2 seconds and it starts to wear off.
Then, riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip. Riiiiiiiiiiippppppppp. Riiiiiippp.
At first I thought there was a rhyme and reason to what part hurt the most. But thinking back it felt arbitary. Pain ranged from 8.5 to 13 on a scale from 1 to 10.
She tried to have a conversation wtih me and I did my best to hold up my end.
“Kids?”
“No mam”
“Husband?”
“Nope.”
“Boyfriend?”
“Nope.”
“Bullshit. Why are you here?”
I laughed, “Maybe I’m a hooker.” (I’m not. Though it felt strangely liberating to say “hooker” to a stranger just as I’m sure it felt liberating to say “Bullshit” to a customer.)
I explained to her that damn list.
“Well… ” riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip. “You’ll enjoy how it looks.” riiiiiiiiiiippp “Go ahead, look.”
If you were to videotape my reaction up til this point like the youtube above, you’d see me covering my eyes like I’m watching a scary movie. Uncovering my face, I looked. It looked… bald. And angry. I mean, I’d be angry at me too.
Thankfully, It didn’t last as long as I thought. It was over before I knew it. Well, almost. As expected from other blog entries I found and my one friend who’s had it done said, Sharon came at me with tweezers. This part isn’t as bad the waxing. It felt like tiny needles pricking you.
I think total it lasted 30 minutes. I cleaned off and paid her 65 dollars (a ten dollar tip included… I mean.. she saw my lil girl.)
Will I go through this again 4 to 6 weeks from now? I guess I’ll figure that out once I’m done icing myself.
I wish I could find that Miracle Stone.