I’m going to see my sister, whom I haven’t seen in 17-18 years, in less than two weeks. Yet, the full significance hasn’t hit me because I’ve been nose deep in my new role as Dishcrawl Ambassador. (Hi are you in Austin? Get your tickets here!) I have been behind on reading blogs and commenting. I haven’t posted in my food blog and the backlog of gorgeous meals is growing. I’ve been behind in my daily correspondences. I’m barely on top of the housekeeping. I’ve been behind on keeping up with social media and nearly missed out on this fun video of Bloggers in Sin City posted on Facebook.
I really want a pause button.
I find that I’m holding my breath a lot the last two weeks. I have high hopes for myself and I am terrified that not only will I fall short, but will also do so in a public forum. (Hello, Internet!) When I’m not calling BDF or BFF, or emailing Cindy and the TAC girls for pep talks, I talk myself down from panic. I tell myself that I’m trying something new and it’s only natural to feel inadequate when you’re trying something new. That the fear nesting in the pit of my stomach is also intermingled with exhilaration. I tell myself to focus on the exhilaration instead of the fear.
I also find solace in my readings. Ray Bradbury in Zen in the Art of Writing tells me, “To fail is to give up. But you are in the midst of a moving process. Nothing fails then. All goes on. Work is done. If good, you learn from it. If bad, you learn even more.”
I’m doing work.
All will go on!