I have been in a funk for a couple of long months now. It has affected my blog posting frequency. When I’m down and out I hate blogging about it. It feels repetitive, unproductive, burdensome, and negative. When I’m down and out, I like attacking things with action or I ruminate over it until it compels me into action.
It feels so contradictory to feel both extremely happy and discontent at the same time. I’m happy with my social life and relationships. I’m in a wonderful place with Alan. It’s been 5 months since moving in with him and we’ve found that comfortable pace. I see my friends when I can, call the long distance ones semi-regularly, and have tried over 50 recipes in the last 5 months. I feel fulfilled outside of work. So these things make me very happy. It’s the lack of direction and calling that makes me feel restless.
A little over two weeks ago, as part of the 30 Day Reinvention, I was prompted to evaluate these pieces of my life: Confidence, Education, Career, Finances, Heath, Physical Activity, Home Cooking, Relationships, Social Life, Creativity, Spirituality, Home Environment. I gave myself grades and the only A’s and B’s I granted myself were in Creativity, Education, Home Cooking, Relationships, and Social Life. This leaves me a lot of areas to improve.
After a while of self-pity and stewing, I’m finally compelled to action. Baby steps. I’m baby stepping out of my rut. I’ve made time for the elliptical machine and for long walks on Town Lake almost every night the last two weeks. I’ve been writing in my journal most mornings. I’ve reinstated my 15 minutes a day of decluttering and an hour a week of cleaning on top of that. Hell, I’ve even flossed for three nights straight! I got my parking ticket waived and sent off payment for my speeding ticket. I’ve finally logged into LinkedIn and updated my connections. All these are incremental tiny steps. One foot after the other. Just like Bill Murray in one of my favorite movies.
What I know about baby steps is that it may feel like nothing is happening, but a year later when you look up, the scenery will have changed. Here’s hoping for better scenery!