Curious Notions

The flowers were from Cindy. A very sweet gesture from one of my close friends who must love me a lot because she HATES Valentine’s day.

The joke and truth is, most (not all) of my most romantic gifts and dates and moments were usually shared with girlfriends. We go to Broadway shows, buy each other jewelry, send each other heart felt letters declaring our admiration for each other, and send each other flowers and cookies more readily than I’ve experienced from boys in general.

I’ve come to really cherish my girlfriends. As much as I adore the small handful of male friends I keep in my life, they’re usually not the nurturing types. Case in point, here’s a voicemail I got from my best guy friend. (He’s a great boyfriend to whomever he’s dating so this is not reflective of the romantic side to him.)

The answer to his question by the way, is zero.

At work, I don’t have cell phone reception so Google Voice emails me my voicemails. I just got this voicemail emailed to me.

Cell phone photo of the batch of cards I sent out today.

I just sent out a batch of Valentine’s Day cards and packages. Every year I pick a handful of single friends and send a little festive note. When I send out any letters or cards I always pick out quotations that are apt to write on the back of the envelopes. I’ve been doing that for years and cannot remember when I started.

I want to share some of the quotations I transcribed this year onto the envelopes.

(It’s all I can do not to inundate this blog entry and all blog entries I’ve written about Valentine’s day with exclamation marks. To do so would sincerely reflect my GLEE!!! The glee that I experience every year around this time.)

Some Valentine Quotations

Age does not protect you from love, but love to some extent protects you from age.
- Jeanne Moreau

If I am not worth the wooing, I am surely not worth the winning.
- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Friendship marks a life even more deeply than love. Love risks degenerating into obsession, friendship is never anything but sharing.
- Elie Wiesel

Never to suffer would never to have been blessed.
- Edgar Allen Poe

I am like a falling star who has finally found her place next to another in a lovely constellation, where we will sparkle in the heavens forever.
- Amy Tan

In the spirit of relationships and Valetine’s day on the horizon, I thought I’d repost this blog entry I originally posted in June of 2007. I discussed why men should pay attention if their ladies suddenly seem to have dropped issues they were having with their relationships.

Last weekend I had dinner with 2 boys and a girl. We girls forced the boys into girly-slumber-party-like questions and conversation. We called it game of “Truth or Truth.” Poor boys. We asked them fun questions from last time they cried to weirdest place they had sex. The juvenile game soon morphed into a conversation about gender differences. One guy wondered why females have a tendency to go into this silent psychological warfare where they are grading their significant other silently, going through a “check list.” He likened it to a ticking bomb.

“Tick tick tick.. and all of a sudden they go off and do something drastic, like break up or start a blow out fight.”

The other girl and I nodded knowingly. We’ve done this ‘ticking bomb’ thing. We’re both sticking to our guns that the “ticking bomb” is a fantastic last resort. Often times we find ourselves voicing what we want over and over again. It’s not fun. It could be as small as “You don’t ever ask me how my day is” to something bigger such as, “I’m not going to wait for you to get your shit together another year, it’s already been 6 years.” Eventually, the asker gets tired of hearing her (or his) own voice so she (or he) stops asking.

Cue “Ticking Bomb” phase.

This is the point where they’re deciding on whether to fold and walk away with least amount of damage to themselves. I like calling it the silent tally. Silently counting how many times the party in question is falling short. No more reminders. No more gentle coaxing. No more arguments. So my hint to mainly the men out there. If your significant other has been nagging you about something for a long while and all of a sudden, she’s quiet. Contrary to what my male friend thought it was (“I thought she changed her wants”), you’re probably being silently monitored and about to approach a tipping point in the relationship. :) Beware of silence.

Why I will stand by it? People generally don’t change. Unless the pain of their not changing exceeds the pain of changing.. right? Why fix something that ain’t broke? So if someone doesn’t embody something you think you need in a relationship, the “ticking bomb” helps illustrates the futility of waiting for someone to change… Count the tally marks then fold and walk away with what you have.

Recently, I reposted a Valentine cookie misadventure from 2007. In case you missed it and don’t want to click on the link, here’s a picture of how these cookies turned out in 2007. Broken hearted cookies of 2007 :( Aw. The irony. Well!! Brandi and I tackled these cookies again this year. They didn’t come out broken or smoking this time. Hurray. And are more tasty than I remembered! Irony might still be there, though. If you missed it, first tip of the hat to Valentine’s day this year here.

14 more days til my favorite holiday. I had my first celebration tonight with roommate.

I bought some ready to bake Nestle Toll House chocolate chip cookies. I got two packages to be exact. Baked 1/2 of one tonight almost as soon as I got home from my weekend in Houston.

My roommate made a Strawberry Poke Cake. Those pink stripes were made possible by poking the cake with a fork and then pouring strawberry jello onto the cake, letting it seep and set in the refridgerator. Tasted so light and delicious!

I’ve always celebrated Valentine’s day as long as I can remember. It is my absolute favorite holiday. It didn’t matter if I didn’t have a boyfriend or if I was dating someone who cared enough to acknowledge it with me (I lived and learned!). Anyway, in 2007 as a single girl, I spent the day at a Single’s Mingle with my roommate at the time and my current roommate Brandi. After, I went home and baked Valentine’s cookies! The thing is, it ended up being a Vday misadventure. Read further to see. As taken from my xanga on February 14, 2007.

After my Roomie, Brandi and I mingled at a single’s mingle tonight (very fun by the way), we decided to end Valentine on a sweet and cute note by making those ready-to-bake sugar cookies. They were so so cute in the package I decided to take a picture of it. Still in it’s wax-paper package.

I lined the cookie sheet with wax paper instead of cookie paper. Roomie walked by and paused. “Linda, you sure wax paper is okay to bake?” I thought to myself a little. “Hmm. You’re right. Wax melts. Not good.”

Roomie read the box.. and here’s another phone camera picture. In case you can’t read it since it is poor quality, says “good for lining pans for baking.” or some shit like that.

5 minutes of the 8, things got a bit smoky in our apartment. Wax paper BAD idea. I acted without thinking and just pulled the wax paper out from under the undercooked cookies.

:( broken hearts.

We tried to fix them…

We couldn’t stop laughing…

We put the best looking ones on top.

This post still makes me giggle. This year, I’ve decided to relive this memory. I bought TWO packages of these same very cookies. You know, to account for any possible missteps.

Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into friend. - Martin Luther King, Jr. It’s Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. I was surfing around reading MLK quotations to honor his day. I figured reflecting about what he’s done for us was the least I could do out of gratitude for my day off. (I still have my night time job though, so bugger that.) I found this quotation that struck me on a more personal note. The quote suggests that love is the power to transform your enemies into friends. I’m willing to wager that everyone has heard the biblical adage, “Love thy enemies.” I’m also willing to bet that most of us let it go through one ear and the other. I’ve never myself, reflected on the idea of loving my enemies. Then I read, “Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into friend.” I could count the number of people I have beef with on one hand. As I think about them individually, I cannot say I ever want to be friends with any of them. I have eventually in all cases let go of my desire for retaliation or aggression. I’ve even managed friendly waves from afar. But friendship? I just cannot imagine sitting down for coffee or sharing a donut. At best, I may donate a pint of blood or two if they’re dying but only as a last resort. For now, due to feasibility and lack of desire, I think I’ll carry on carrying on without them in my corner. But the thought of being a friend to those I’m not fond of did strike a chord. I’m curious. If you stretch your mind a little, can you imagine yourself being friends with your enemies?

Balloons waiting to be written on. Every year at aroud New Year’s for the past 3 years, Kim and I, inspired by an article in O magazine, release balloons. We adapted what Lance Armstrong’s exwife did (she released balloons to symbolize things she was letting go) and we write on 2 balloons. 1 with the things we want to let go that we had trouble letting go of in the year prior, the other with things we desire and hope for in the year to come. It’s an extremely girly thing to do but we enjoy it tremendously and look forward to it when a year draws to an end. Each balloon gets a quotation we choose/vote on. Our quotation chosen for our wishes, desires, and hopes balloon. I transcribed this quote for our regrets/letting go balloon and inadvertently left off two words that you now see ungracefully inserted in. Kim adding to our wishes and desires for 2010. Here are some things we look forward to and hope for. Some more things we look forward to and hope for. Things we’re letting go. More things we’re letting go. Video of our balloon release Cheers to 2010.

I wish everyone a safe, better than 2009, healthy new year in 2010. I had a wonderful time last night and spent today eating good barbecue, seeing Jen T one last time before she goes back to Philly tomorrow, browsing a bookstore, and now I’m doing some cleaning and game planning for 2010. I’m feeling good over here.