“You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before, she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She’s not perfect- you aren’t either, and the two of you may never be perfect together, but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break- her heart. So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there”
And other places you can find me: (all links open new windows)
Cell phone photo of the batch of cards I sent out today.
I just sent out a batch of Valentine’s Day cards and packages. Every year I pick a handful of single friends and send a little festive note. When I send out any letters or cards I always pick out quotations that are apt to write on the back of the envelopes. I’ve been doing that for years and cannot remember when I started.
I want to share some of the quotations I transcribed this year onto the envelopes.
(It’s all I can do not to inundate this blog entry and all blog entries I’ve written about Valentine’s day with exclamation marks. To do so would sincerely reflect my GLEE!!! The glee that I experience every year around this time.)
Some Valentine Quotations
Age does not protect you from love, but love to some extent protects you from age. - Jeanne Moreau
If I am not worth the wooing, I am surely not worth the winning. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Friendship marks a life even more deeply than love. Love risks degenerating into obsession, friendship is never anything but sharing. - Elie Wiesel
Never to suffer would never to have been blessed. - Edgar Allen Poe
I am like a falling star who has finally found her place next to another in a lovely constellation, where we will sparkle in the heavens forever. - Amy Tan
In the spirit of relationships and Valetine’s day on the horizon, I thought I’d repost this blog entry I originally posted in June of 2007. I discussed why men should pay attention if their ladies suddenly seem to have dropped issues they were having with their relationships.
Last weekend I had dinner with 2 boys and a girl. We girls forced the boys into girly-slumber-party-like questions and conversation. We called it game of “Truth or Truth.” Poor boys. We asked them fun questions from last time they cried to weirdest place they had sex. The juvenile game soon morphed into a conversation about gender differences. One guy wondered why females have a tendency to go into this silent psychological warfare where they are grading their significant other silently, going through a “check list.” He likened it to a ticking bomb.
“Tick tick tick.. and all of a sudden they go off and do something drastic, like break up or start a blow out fight.”
The other girl and I nodded knowingly. We’ve done this ‘ticking bomb’ thing. We’re both sticking to our guns that the “ticking bomb” is a fantastic last resort. Often times we find ourselves voicing what we want over and over again. It’s not fun. It could be as small as “You don’t ever ask me how my day is” to something bigger such as, “I’m not going to wait for you to get your shit together another year, it’s already been 6 years.” Eventually, the asker gets tired of hearing her (or his) own voice so she (or he) stops asking.
Cue “Ticking Bomb” phase.
This is the point where they’re deciding on whether to fold and walk away with least amount of damage to themselves. I like calling it the silent tally. Silently counting how many times the party in question is falling short. No more reminders. No more gentle coaxing. No more arguments. So my hint to mainly the men out there. If your significant other has been nagging you about something for a long while and all of a sudden, she’s quiet. Contrary to what my male friend thought it was (“I thought she changed her wants”), you’re probably being silently monitored and about to approach a tipping point in the relationship. :) Beware of silence.
Why I will stand by it? People generally don’t change. Unless the pain of their not changing exceeds the pain of changing.. right? Why fix something that ain’t broke? So if someone doesn’t embody something you think you need in a relationship, the “ticking bomb” helps illustrates the futility of waiting for someone to change… Count the tally marks then fold and walk away with what you have.
Drawn without training, a no 2. pencil and Crayola colored penciles.
I’d like to formally explore drawing “rules” and techniques one day. You can tell I’m very untrained. Proportions are off. Look at her boots. Sigh, so many things to explore in this life and not enough time.
My dad drew. I remember as a child, I snooped through his letters and paperwork, wishing I knew how to read Vietnamese. I wanted to read the letters he used to write to my maternal grandfather. I liked the stationary and running my fingers over the ridges of imprinted words. (I also like running my fingers over the ridges of completed jigsaw puzzles.) While snooping one day, I found some drawings he drew while in a reeducation camp in Vietnam. They were drawn on pieces of cardboard and they were BEAUTIFUL. I think that’s painfully romantic. Drawing pictures of your wife while imprisioned. I can imagine him admiring his drawings with deep longing every night before bed. I should write myself a reminder to ask him if he’s tucked these drawings anywhere…
It isn’t very often when a group of people blows me away and humbles me with a grand demonstration of generosity, kindness, and empathy. So when these moments come I cherish the reminder that there are handful of good people still left in the world with bleeding hearts. I’ve recently started stalking a few bloggers and on the periphery saw a band of them pull together, gave up their blogs for a day to post a prayer request from Brandy, a blogger whose boyfriend was recently diagnosed with myeloma. Not only did they give up their blogs for a day, Lilu rallied 50 bloggers around the world to make a very cute music video and was in cahoots to start the Love Harder fund raising money for The Multiple Myeloma Research Foundation.
Seriously, right? I’m grateful that I get to be a witness to this act of kindness. Click on the banner above to donate to the fund. Whatever you can. Here’s the cute video.
And finally, the prayer request that started it all.
My name is Brandy. And I have a blog.
And a plea.
I use my blog to showcase the crazy I meet everyday, share the stories of the kids I teach, and document my love for tequila, dairy products and the abdominal muscles of Ryan Reynolds.
Rarely do I talk about personal issues on my blog– as personal as the dude that I adore. But I need your help. And it involves my dude.
He’s a guy who made math comics for my class, so they would love learning about addition. He’s the guy who sends my friends gift cards when they are having hard times, who remembers every story I ever told him, who was the first person I celebrated with when I got a teaching job.
He’s the guy who sent flowers to me at school– dozens of my favourite pink roses just because he loves me. He’s a guy who has spent a year patiently explaining (and re-explaining) everything there is to know about football during the important games when silence is preferred.
He’s made me word puzzles and comics and stayed up late playing Scrabble with me (even though I beat him almost every time). He’s listened to me cry about school and family and jobs. He is everything I never knew I needed and everything I always knew I wanted.
I realize this all sounds dramatic, a Lifetime movie in the making– but this is life. Right now. And I’m throwing away any hint of ego and am humbly asking for you to pray or think kind thoughts. If you are able to pass this on, thank you.
This isn’t a call for sympathy or a plea for pity. It’s just one girl hoping you can think positive thoughts for the person she adores. If my current heartache provides you with anything, let it be the reminder that life is short, love is unbending and no one knows what could happen next.
Thank you for reading this, and if you haven’t already? Please tell someone you love them today.
Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into friend.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
It’s Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. I was surfing around reading MLK quotations to honor his day. I figured reflecting about what he’s done for us was the least I could do out of gratitude for my day off. (I still have my night time job though, so bugger that.) I found this quotation that struck me on a more personal note. The quote suggests that love is the power to transform your enemies into friends. I’m willing to wager that everyone has heard the biblical adage, “Love thy enemies.” I’m also willing to bet that most of us let it go through one ear and the other. I’ve never myself, reflected on the idea of loving my enemies.
Then I read, “Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into friend.”
I could count the number of people I have beef with on one hand. As I think about them individually, I cannot say I ever want to be friends with any of them. I have eventually in all cases let go of my desire for retaliation or aggression. I’ve even managed friendly waves from afar. But friendship? I just cannot imagine sitting down for coffee or sharing a donut. At best, I may donate a pint of blood or two if they’re dying but only as a last resort.
For now, due to feasibility and lack of desire, I think I’ll carry on carrying on without them in my corner. But the thought of being a friend to those I’m not fond of did strike a chord.
I’m curious. If you stretch your mind a little, can you imagine yourself being friends with your enemies?
I love making resolutions. I think it helps me to progress in life. I had a really good year in 2008 and completed almost ALL of my resolutions. In 2009, namely due to resigning my job as a research coordinator and being unemployed for 5 months, I didn’t do well keeping my resolutions. The only three resolutions I accomplished from my list was have a whole year’s worth of funds saved up as an emergency fund (it ended up being VERY useful during my stint with unemployment), write in my paper journal once a week, I reading 20 books in 2009 (I read between 24-30 books), and continue doing my new things of the week (going on 5 years now!).
I’m feel like I have better footing this year and here are my resolutions for 2010.
Financial
Rebuild year’s worth of emergency fund. (5.5K) I just transferred over 500 (1/11).
Transfer over my 401K from my previous job to my Roth IRA.
Do my own taxes.
Keep outings with my little from Big Brothers & Big Sisters of America on a budget.
I wish everyone a safe, better than 2009, healthy new year in 2010. I had a wonderful time last night and spent today eating good barbecue, seeing Jen T one last time before she goes back to Philly tomorrow, browsing a bookstore, and now I’m doing some cleaning and game planning for 2010. I’m feeling good over here.
In comparison to 2008, 2009 was awful! The one thing I can think of that 2009 had over 2008 was that I read more than double the books I read in 2008. I’m anticipating the fresh feel of a new year that is 2010. In the meantime, here’s a review of how my year has gone with heavier emphasis on my blessings verses my misfortunes.
Note: All links open in a new window.
January 2009
Celebrated New Years with Alan and his friends.
I worked a lot. Logged a lot of hours.
Saw one of my favorite movies of the year, Slumdog Millionaire.
Visited Mary Ellen for a long weekend in Boston. First time I’ve gone to see her since 2005. Had best breakfast ever at Mike and Patty’s and most interesting hot pot.
Celebrated Alan’s birthday at Joe Dimaggio’s. Was very happy to have him back in Texas and to be able to celebrate his birthday with him and take him as a date to weddings. He had good timing :)
Had a wonderful Thanksgiving in Houston where I reunited with people I don’t normally see! (Willis, Thomas, Kim, Shane, Kelvin, Chris, Aishah, Kym, Hillary, Alex)
I went home to Houston for Christmas break and was able to see Mary Ellen, Aishah, Pinky, Cindy, and Kim of course my lovely family.
Had hot pot on Christmas day twice. Lunch with Mary Ellen and her mom and dinner with my own family. Hot potted out! (Blog entry to come.)
Released balloons 4 days early as part of a New Year’s Tradition with Kim. (Blog entry to come.)
Tonight, most likely will be going downtown for New Year’s and spending it with Alan.
After party in the car.
I’m a blessed girl. Instinctively, I’d tell you my 2009 was pretty awful but when I write it all out like this and focused on the good rather than the bad, I can see now I’m still quite lucky. Farewell, 2009.
Tell me how your year went. Or better yet, if you have a year in review entry, I’d love to read yours.
I babysat after work tonight. I’m very pooped. Just started a load of laundry and the plan is to watch a late movie rental with Alan. And somehow wake up at 6. Exhausted! The kiddos I babysit for are now the only kids I babysit. I’ve been with them since they were fresh out of the oven. The little one just turned three and I totally let him manipulate me tonight.
They usually find excuses to sneak out of their bedrooms after bedtime. “I need a glass of water.” “I need to pee.” “I forgot to say my prayer.” “I don’t have my snuggy (their security blanket).” “I’m scared.” The excuses are numerous and varied. For a while, I was able to keep the little one from sneaking out by threatening to take away his binky if he does. Now that he’s off of his pacifier, I just have to ignore and stay stern.
Tonight’s first excuse was, “I don’t have my snuggy!!!” This is actually a legimate excuse as they cannot go to bed without their blankey. The second excuse from the younger one was “Linda!! I forgot to say my prayers!!!” I yelled up, “Go ahead and say your prayers then!!” He very audibly said his little bed time prayers. It wasn’t long after that I can hear the older 5 year old snoring. The battle is almost over. Little one yells out 40 minutes later.
“LINNNNNNN-DAAAAAAA”
I always wait a bit to see if they just give up. Of course they don’t.
Oh. my. GAD. He totally melted my heart right then and there.
I tiptoed up the stairs and peeked in on him. They had moved a mattress into their bedroom, in between their two beds and are sleeping on the floor together. Older brother is snoring and blocking me from giving little one a kiss. I whispered to him and suggested we just blow each other kisses.
So we blew each other kisses.
My heart. He slays me. SLAYS me.
Here he is at dinner. It was easy dinner tonight; he wanted a lunchable. He stacked his lunchable to an impossible height. He loves mugging for my cellphone camera.
Excuse the poor quality of the video; I used a cellphone.
Texas native. Living and working in Austin, TX. Twenty something. In hot pursuit of good food, adventure, and laughter. Dreams of owning her own place with a big giant library.
hot muggy weather, 10 min storm, walking w/ boss to see conference space, wearing peep toes = big hot smelly mess. 2 weather fails in 2 days 23 mins ago
@ATXFoodnews it was to go! so no comp. am conflicted between loyalty and love and eeeek a FLY in my TACO. i think loyalty and love will win 4 hours ago
Linda | 
02 25th, 2010| 
It’s Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. I was surfing around reading MLK quotations to honor his day. I figured reflecting about what he’s done for us was the least I could do out of gratitude for my day off. (I still have my night time job though, so bugger that.) I found this quotation that struck me on a more personal note. The quote suggests that love is the power to transform your enemies into friends. I’m willing to wager that everyone has heard the biblical adage, “Love thy enemies.” I’m also willing to bet that most of us let it go through one ear and the other. I’ve never myself, reflected on the idea of loving my enemies.
Texas native. Living and working in Austin, TX. Twenty something. In hot pursuit of good food, adventure, and laughter. Dreams of owning her own place with a big giant library.
