Category: pursuit of happiness

31 Stress Busters

November 20th, 2011 · · lists, National Blog Posting Month '11, pursuit of happiness 14 comments - Tags:

Last weekend, Barb Steinberg, LMSW lead a workshop on how to empower girls. One of the ways she mentioned was to have them make a list of “stress busters.” Stress busters are things you do to relax and self soothe. And even though the workshop was catered to young girls, having a tool box of things that calm and relax you is a life skill everyone should have. In an effort to remind myself to take time out, here’s my list of stress busters.


31 Stress Busters



photo credit

  1. Reading
  2. Cuddling
  3. Dancing
  4. Preening
  5. Taking bubble baths
  6. Taking hot showers
  7. Baking
  8. Journaling
  9. Dancing
  10. Playing with pets
  11. Playing with children
  12. Decluttering
  13. Exercising
  14. Cleaning
  15. Connecting with friends
  16. Breathing
  17. Performing random acts of kindness
  18. Watching favorite TV shows
  19. Saying no when feeling overextended
  20. Saying yes to only the things I truly want to do
  21. Paying down debt
  22. Creating something (even if it’s just a napkin doodle!)
  23. Meal planning to reduce amount of money and time spent at grocery stores
  24. Getting enough sleep
  25. Staying hydrated
  26. Treating myself
  27. Admiring scenery (e.g.: look up at the clouds, notice the sunset, appreciate the beauty of flowers)
  28. Getting the hard action items off my to do list first
  29. Dating myself (e.g.: solo trips to movies, restaurants, and museums)
  30. Laughing
  31. Sipping on a warm beverage


Question: What’s on your list of stress busters?

Friends of Proximity

November 8th, 2011 · · love, memory, National Blog Posting Month '11, pursuit of happiness 29 comments - Tags: ,

Making friends with people I routinely see is easy. Be along side someone every day of the week and the chances of stumbling on some awesome commonalities go up. I think that’s why people label friends in their lives by venue. High school friend, college friend, neighbor friend, church friend, work friend, camp friend, Internet friend. We pay homage to the chapters and locations of our lives that made these friendships possible. As I’ve grown older and became more keen of life’s patterns, I recognized that most friendships don’t survive the ending of proximity. Most people I meet aren’t still in touch with their high school friends (My tiny high school and the friendships I see still fostered on Facebook are an aberration.) I’ve adored many coworkers but have managed to only keep 4-5 as friends after holding 10 jobs in my life time. I’m always saddened when I leave chapters not only because I know that life will be uncertain until I find my next groove, but also because I have to leave the people behind. There’s just not enough time and room for everyone you meet and share french fries with to continue on in your life.

My college friend, Deesh likes to remind me of that one time we took a final in our final semester in 2005 of college together. I had asked him if he thought we’d still be friends after college. He laughed because he couldn’t imagine it otherwise. Cynical, I just thought he was being a bit naive. Maybe he was, but it’s now been over 5 years since graduation and I’m having dinner with him Thursday. In September, I blogged that I was sad that Jessica moved away and got married and I mourned the loss of our friendship. Just a couple months later, we reunited for a weekend. Last year for VEDA, I watched 20-30 people post a vlog every day for the month of August. It was our first year doing it and at the end, I thought, “Man, another chapter done. I probably won’t keep in touch with most of these awesome people.” Now I share a collab channel with four of the girls I met and tweet at a slew of them still. We make plans to meet each other even.

I wanted to take a moment and marvel at some of these friendships. My college friend Kym and I really just spent one summer together 5 years ago and yet I email her weekly. Kim and I met in 2001 in college and I email her DAILY and see her when I’m in Houston. Cindy and I only really shared a few months of living in the same town when we first met. I respect the importance and fond memories of friends whom life physically moved away and with them the friendship dissipated, but the friendships I managed to keep alive with emails, phone calls, chats, letters, and care packages, they really have a special place in my heart. You can say there’s no closer proximity than the friendships you carry with you.

This post is written in dedication to my BFF, a high school life friend.

Weekend Recap

November 7th, 2011 · · memory, National Blog Posting Month '11, pursuit of happiness, Stars of my Life, still-frames 24 comments - Tags: , ,

Jessica, a close friend of Brandi’s and mine, moved away over a year ago. We saw her just once since then and it was at her wedding. A happy occasion but not the perfect time to catch up. We reunited finally over the weekend and traveled south for a day to attend the Texas Renaissance Festival. We’ve gone twice before. To put a fun spin on things, we decided to skip out on most of the activities we’ve done before (no more riding elephants!) and pick the attractions we’ve never done.

So we started with face painting. Even as a child, I’ve never had my face painted!




Then we shot bow and arrows. We picked the heavier bows. 27 lbs, when weaker armed individuals should start at 20 lbs. I don’t know what I’m talking about; I’m just repeating what the guy said. All I know is that I could barely pull the string back!


Then we threw knives. I’ve never thrown knives. Turns out, I throw knives like I throw darts. (Poorly.)

Of course we had to conserve some of our traditions. We ate the same foods and took photos with some characters!




It was an exceptional day.


Question: What did you do this weekend?

Landing on My Feet

November 3rd, 2011 · · National Blog Posting Month '11, pursuit of happiness 23 comments - Tags:

Anytime I’m faced with having to do something that terrifies me, I conjure up the memory of a very specific day when I was 23. I’ve done this when I quit my job, when I had to speak a vulnerable truth, when I let go of a relationships, any time I face a powerful fear. I never thought that day would become a profound moment in my life.

As a 23 year old, I was pretty much fearless. Dying never occurred to me and heights never bothered me, so one day I decided on a whim to jump out of a plane. Last week, I reposted an old entry from my now defunct Xanga about what it was like to go skydiving. At the time, naviete kept me going until the moment I was pushed out of the plane. The decision to skydive, and even the dive itself, were just an adventure that I was determined to experience.

I remember thinking rather dumbly during the first few seconds of free falling, “Well, I hope I live.”

It’s an awesome feeling, free falling. The mind chatter and anxiety that had seemed so important give way to a surge of adrenaline. I felt at once powerful and vulnerable jumping out of that plane, the same way I feel when having an uncomfortable conversation with someone or quitting a job.

Recently, it’s clicking that I reflect on this moment more than I realize. Every time I’ve done something scary, I am again free falling and trusting that I’ll land on my feet.

In skydiving, after the tumbling and discomfort and the adjusting to changes, my chute opens, and then I can breathe again.

And then I land on my feet.

I land on my feet after all that commotion.

That’s the take away. Some of life’s big decisions will result in discomfort and hurt and more fear, but after I grin and bear it, I land on my feet.

Being First

October 18th, 2011 · · pursuit of happiness 25 comments - Tags: ,

My dad likes to teach me stuff. There are a few lessons that he has persistently instilled in me and hasn’t stopped. I’m starting to realize that he only repeats the lessons if he sees that I’m not learning them. Two lessons that come to mind are, “put your keys in just one place at home,” and “take care of yourself first.”

The “taking care of yourself first” lesson fell on deaf ear most of the time. It was just something dads tell their daughters. Also, he didn’t really lead by example. Both my dad and mom have always put themselves second or third. In recent years, it has started to click. Even if I wanted others to come before me, the best way to serve them is to make sure I’m at a good place myself. It’s airplane safety rules! You put on your oxygen mask before you assist others.

In previous years, my dad would tell me I need to take care of myself foremost because everybody else is taking care of themselves first. (As they should!) Which means, if I don’t make myself my first priority, I’ll never be first.

It’s starting to sink in, dad.

Our current bit:

Dad:
Who do you take care of first?

Me:
Me.

Dad:
Who do you take care of second?

Me:
You.

Dad:
Third?

Me:
Mom.

Dad:
And?

Me:
Don’t tell mom.

P.S. I’m working on putting my keys on only the kitchen counter.

Friday 7 Quick Takes (vol 63)

October 14th, 2011 · · 7 Quick Takes (Fridays), love, new thing(s) of the week, pursuit of happiness, resolutions 2011 30 comments - Tags: , ,


1.

This week on Totes Awesome Channel, we talk booze.


Youtube Link

For those who cannot watch videos, I demonstrated how drinking makes me turn pink or red. I also talk about how I hold a drink in my hand to keep others from buying me more. Party trick!


2.



It’s almost Race for the Cure day in Austin. I’m a bit late to sign up and to begin fundraising but I finally registered. I hope to raise $500 dollars. Kind of a little high for less than a month of soliciting my friends (i.e. you). Segue! If you could spare a few dollars, please consider sponsoring me by going to my Race for the Cure page.


3.


On Monday, I posted about how the Internet made me happy, a collection of 3 mini stories about how the Internet has gifted me wonderful friends and ways to stalk them effectively. Tuesday night I watched Oprah’s second Life Class Lesson. It was all about forgiveness and brought to light that I’m one very angry girl. I’m holding onto a grudge against someone I really love. Watching this class within a day of reading Katie’s post, Coming First, Ashley’s post about Self-Love, and emails with my girlfriends about getting better at life may have overstimulated me.

I tweeted that my heart felt raw and open and that I might be crying for no reason.

Yeah. Melodramatic!

Hours later, Ashley and Peter surprised me with a delivery of a pizza gift card.

It really touched me because I wasn’t in crisis. I was just overwhelmed with a lot of inspiration and messages from the “Universe.” But here are two people I met online and they reached out and did something sweet for me. It humbled me because really, if this is the support I get when I’m not in crisis? Shoot man, I think I will be okay if ever shit hits the fan.


4.


I wrote my first guest post and it was posted yesterday over at Dirtontherocks.com. My post is entitled, 40 Small and Affordable Ways to Seek Adventure. Please go read!


5.


I’ve been focusing on facing fears and taking baby steps towards conquering fear. Not just on behalf of my unwilling dog, but for me. One area in my life that could use a little more boldness is cooking. Admittedly, it’s an easier fear to tackle but hey, I like chipping away at big goals with easy tasks first.

What’s so scary about cooking? I’m scared of things tasting like crap. I’m scared of throwing out food. I’m scared of embarrassing myself when Alan tries a dish and spits it out. (He only did that once but I nearly poisoned him with vinegar.) I’m scared of going to the Asian store and not knowing where to find the ingredients labeled in my recipe in English but displayed in the stores in Vietnamese/Korean/Chinese.

So this year, I thought I’d finally bite the bullet and face my cooking fears. I love Vietnamese food and am a Vietnamese girl but until this year, didn’t know how to make one dish. I resolved to make 10 and after this past week, I’m at five! Sunday night I made my first Vietnamese Chicken Curry. Thus far, the “scariest” Vietnamese dish I’ve made.

It wasn’t hard and it tasted great!

Further demonstration that fear is just in our silly heads.


6.

Your girl was on cable TV on Tuesday!

More obnoxious screenshots from my TV can be found on my food blog. Better yet, last night I found this link with the actual clip.

It was a fun experience and I’m happy to have shared it with some sweet friends.


7.

This week’s moments of bliss: ♥ making Vietnamese Chicken Curry (Ca Ri Ga) and Alan calling it “awesome” ♥ cooking advice delivered by my mom via the phone ♥ meeting Treavor ♥ book mail from Ashley ♥ food bloggers’ dinner date ♥ This American Life podcasts ♥ making my first cheesecake and it turning out swell ♥ Take 3 ♥ GChat catch up with Nicole ♥ couch time ♥ eating with my plastic neon green Keroppi spoon ♥ cheesecake for breakfast ♥ cuddle time with Bob ♥ you if you’re reading this ♥ finally sending out the letters I meant to send out weeks ago ♥ celebrating my little from Big Bro/Big Sis’s 12th birthday with grilled cheese sandwiches


Questions: What was the last “scary” thing you did? How did you feel after you did it?

How the Internet Made Me Happy

October 10th, 2011 · · pursuit of happiness 29 comments - Tags:

The internet really played a hand in my happiness this weekend.

Friday night, I went out to a seedy karaoke bar to celebrate Alan’s birthday. The back of someone’s head was really familiar to me but every time he walked by, he did so in a way that hid his face from me. I couldn’t help but stare and did it so obviously, my friend poked me and asked me what’s going on.

“I think that’s a good friend of mine from ages ago. He lives in New York now but I know he’s in town for the weekend. I think that’s the back of his head.”

At the crowded bar there was no room to maneuver myself discretely to the other side of him to take a look but I found myself suddenly really missing seeing him every day during Spanish in college. I even recalled scribbling funny quips of his in my quote book years ago and writing an online journal entry about him back when I was still hosted on Diaryland.

It dawned on me that he included me on a Facebook thread about his visit to Austin. I hadn’t been reading it because I knew I’d be busy celebrating Alan’s birthday. I took one quick glance at my Facebook app on my phone and confirmed that he was at the same bar. I smacked him really hard on the shoulder. He turned around. We gave each other 3 seconds for it to register and it was bear hug time!


* * *

I checked my mail over the weekend and received a stack of reading from Ashley, a friend I had the pleasure of meeting last year while doing VEDA (Vlog Every Day in August), and now a fellow Totes Awesome Channel collaborator.

The fun thing about mail is that it’s neat to be touching the same things your friends from far away places have touched.

Or is that just creepy?

I’ll stick with “romantic.”


* * *

Treavor, another Internet friend I had the pleasure of meeting doing VEDA last year, tweeted at me telling me he’ll be in Austin. A handful of direct messages later, I was sitting with him at a bubble tea cafe guiding him through his first experience of bubble tea. Of course we vlogged it.


Youtube Link

It was a great first time meeting him. I loved how we said good bye. “Talk to you later!” And as he said that he mimed typing on the computer. How cute are we?


Question: How has the internet made you smile lately?

Friday 7 Quick Takes (vol 57)

September 2nd, 2011 · · 7 Quick Takes (Fridays), new thing(s) of the week, pursuit of happiness, wanderlust 11 comments - Tags: ,


  • 1.

    It’s the last week of the month for Totes Awesome Channel, which means no topic week!


    Youtube Link

    I talk about really wanting to establish routines and how they ground me.


    2.

    I got back from Vancouver on Monday night. Will be sharing more about it next week. For now, I’ve blogged about three eateries on the food blog.


    Cafe Medina


    Mink


    Goldies Pizza and Beer Lounge


    3.


    This is my favorite picture of Vancouver I took. I didn’t edit the photo at all and took it with my Android. How amazing is this view?


    4.


    My money situation is stressing me out. I can’t wait to get a better view of what my new routine will cost me monthly. Alan and I just untangled some of last month’s expenses and I owed him more than a paycheck! Ouch! Also in 2 weeks my credit card statement will be due and that’s already more than a paycheck! Hold me.


    5.


    One way I’m tackling the money stress is I started meal planning and it’s been pretty challenging but also pretty rewarding. My goal is to practice enough that it doesn’t take me forever to peruse recipes. I’ve started a Google Doc shared with my BFF with links to a bunch of recipes we want to try. The recipes are divided into categories and when I try a recipe from the doc, I write a little note about how well it turned out. Another goal is to develop some kind of skeletal format. Also, that slow cooker is an awesome invention. I’ve fallen in love with mine. Since we got home from Canada, we haven’t eaten out once and I made two meals that will be “keeper” recipes. Alan and I loved them both.

    First recipe: best spaghetti sauce I’ve ever made
    Second recipe: Dr. Pepper Pulled Pork Tacos


    Brought a serving of the pulled pork for lunch (one of the tacos pictured above). May possibly be the prettiest lunch from home I’ve taken to work.


    6.


    This year so far I’ve participated in three 30 day projects. First one being eating at least a serving of vegetables on the daily for thirty days and the other two was Vlogging Every Day in April and then Vlogging Every Day in August. I was successful in all three 30 day projects. I’m making September the month to tackle sleep. I’ve never been good about getting enough sleep for as long as I can remember. Sometimes I read ancient journal entries I’ve written (high school and middle school) and the lack of sleep was recorded back then too!

    My September of Sleep goals are: 30 hours of sleep during the work week. 14 hours of sleep on weekends.

    Wish me luck and sweet dreams! Last night was the first night of my goal and I only slept 4.5 hours. Doh!


    7.

    This week’s moments of bliss: ♥ 3 day work week last week ♥ 4 day work week this week ♥ 4 day work week next week ♥ couch sharing time ♥ Vancouver ♥ nesting ♥ using my passport for the first time since I got it 2 years ago ♥ delicious Dr. Pepper pulled pork ♥ delicious spaghetti sauce ♥ watching The Help with Brandi for free ♥ free event reservations ♥ hosting our first dinner guests ♥ falling in love with my slow cooker ♥ navigating library stacks ♥ sharing books on the Kindle with BFF ♥ updating the food blog three times and not having to fine myself 10 dollars


    Questions: Do you meal plan? How do you go about making eating decisions?

    • VEDA Vlogs from Vancouver

    August 29th, 2011 · · pursuit of happiness, VEDA, wanderlust 13 comments - Tags: ,

    Be very proud of me. I vlogged straight through moving, through Dallas, and now through a vacation in Vancouver. I haven’t missed a day! I’ve been patting myself on the back all morning. Here are my VEDA (Vlog Every Day in August) Vlogs from Vancouver.


    Day 25 – Pet Peeves


    Youtube link

    You don’t need sound to see this video! I write it out. In case you still can’t view the video, I listed tardiness (>10 minutes), flaky people, and people who talk during movies in movie theaters as my pet peeves. You get to see my bad handwriting!

    What are your pet peeves?


    Day 26 – Most Valuable Possessions


    Youtube Link

    I happen to travel with the things I love the most. My journals!

    What are your most valuable possessions?


    Day 27 – Day in the Life / First Day in Vancouver


    Youtube Link

    For the Day in the Life topic, I talked you through my first day in Vancouver. We landed at 10. I was running on 4 hours of sleep, Alan on 0. We got to the hotel at 11 ish and Alan napped while I explored and lunched. We met up our friends Mike and Amy who live in Seattle and drove up to see us. We all visited the Vancouver Aquarium and had a grand time. We both adored the sea otters. No penguins at this aquarium. (Sad!) Then dined at a Japanese tapas place (look for it soon on my food blog!) and drank 3 bottles of Sake. Then Mike and Amy left and Alan and I met Paul, a new Canadian friend. We enjoyed some live music with Paul and then was in bed pretty late.

    What does a typical day in your life look like?


    Day 28 – What I Used to Believe In


    Youtube Link

    I wrote this vlog out so if it’s sound that keeps you from watching the vlogs, you can watch this one! If not, I listed out things I used to believe in but no longer do.

    1. True love is first love.
    2. Friends who do wrong are not friends at all. (No one is perfect.)
    3. Wait til you’re married to sleep with someone. (Ha!)
    4. Wait til you’re married to move in with a dude. (Ha!)

    What are things you used to believe in but no longer do?


    Day 29 – Passions


    Youtube Link

    There’s not much about which I’m not passionate. Good food, books, family, love, travel. There’s so many things that taste good, look good, smell good. I know I can be annoying when I’m raving about things so enthusiastically so often, but I just cannot help myself.

    What are you passionate about?

    See you back in Austin!

    Kismet?

    August 28th, 2011 · · pursuit of happiness, wanderlust 3 comments

    Hello from Vancouver! I fly back home tomorrow and am terribly sad. I had my favorite cities being a toss up between San Francisco and New York City, but Vancouver has blown both of those cities out of the water. I love everything about it. More about my love for the city later!

    Yesterday, I was walking about the city with Alan when I came upon this sight.

    A room full of balloons in Vancouver tickled me so much that I had to take a picture of it.

    The reason why it tickled me so much is because two weeks ago, I came across a room in Dallas full of balloons.

    I adore coincidences. I think the stories can be whimsical. Especially when involving balloons. My other favorite travel coincidence involved a mouse, cat, and dog.


    Question: What is your favorite coincidence?