I have a few friends, all girlfriends actually who struggle with credit card debt and budgeting. As I’m reflecting on these close friends, I’ve noticed they have a three things in common.

1. They love to shop and suffer from occasional bouts of impulse buying. (me too!)
2. They do not have an emergency fund.
3. They live paycheck to paycheck.

I’m really not a financial expert but I think I’m pretty aware. I took the Charles Schwab Money Fitness Quiz and scored an 86 which is rated as “Good.” I know exactly my money weaknesses and strengths.

• Forgetting to pay obscure bills (as I’m typing this I still need to pay an overdue tollway bill).
• I don’t max out my Roth IRA (hopefully this year, I can bring myself to save that 5K and max out for the first time ever.)
• I don’t really know how or what to invest my money in or the best way I should diversify.
• I have over 23K in student loans.

• I automatically save at least $100 every paycheck.
• I do not withdraw from my savings save for trips and the very occasional lending money to loved ones.
• I have an emergency fund.
• I pay off my credit cards in full every month.

I’m always trying to motivate my struggling friends to adopt the good habits I live by. I hate that they live paycheck to paycheck and if anything were to happen they will be scrounging around for aid or going into deeper debt. I’m by no means perfect and sometimes I flounder. (This month, I spent more than I made.) So I’m going to write this blog entry in dedication to a few girl friends and impart what mentalities have worked for me.

1. I used to do a lot of weight loss counseling at my previous job and one thing that I noticed when people relapsed on their weight loss program is that they don’t forgive themselves and get back on the saddle. They are so ridden with guilt that they start letting it win by staying down for the count. They tell themselves, “I’ve done so badly and eaten at McDonalds this morning, might as well go all out and treat myself to a whole pint of ice cream tonight. I’ll start my program again next week.” This mentality is counterproductive and doesn’t make sense! You can always and should start again right away. The same goes for money. If you exceeded your budget this week and it’s only Wednesday, don’t go for broke the rest of the week. Start anew right away.

2. We’re all going to continuously fail. Failing is part of life. There’s no avoiding it. However, don’t set yourself up for failure. If you have never saved in your life, choose an automatic minimum to put into savings that is attainable. If you think you can realistically save 200 dollars a month, do it. If after a month you weren’t even close, adjust accordingly! Go all the way down to 20 dollars a month if need be and inch your way up. As inevitable in life as failure is, it’s important to not set yourself up for it.

3. Create a price to opportunity ratio. Let me illustrate this mentality with real thought processes I go through. This one I went through yesterday: I overspent in June. I moved (movers were 260). I bought renter’s insurance (120). I bought books and event tickets ($60). I lost count of how many meals I ate out (moving made it difficult to cook.) I indulged in a lot of treats (clothes, outings, etc). I’m finally moved in and had lunches planned to bring to work. Yesterday, my coworker was walking to Chipotle and I needed to buy a greeting card next door. I love me some Chipotle and really wanted to just scrap my lunch in exchange for a burrito bowl. Follows is how I walk away from many of my small mundane impulses is to evaluate the opportunity.

Q. Is Chipotle fairly attainable?
A. It TOTALLY is. It’s on campus, walking distance, and under ten dollars. Hell, I have two Chipotles less than a mile away from where I live.

Q. Will this be my last opportunity to eat Chipotle?
A. Far from it!

Q. Can I resist this week and be satisified with coming back later?
A. Absolutely.

Impulse resisted!

That’s three big mentalities I’ve found financially useful and effective but I’m always seeking to learn more, so please share your tips.

This post is written as part of 20SB Blog Carnival on friends and money. For more entries about friends and money, click the link.

January
- Kim came up for New Years. We celebrated downtown with Alan’s couple of friends and Jon and the boys.
- Kim and I wrote on two balloons on New Year’s Day. One balloon of our regrets and things we’re letting go. The other balloon our desires for 2009. Then we ever so poetically, released them on my balcony.
-I went to San Diego for the fourth time. I made it to the zoo and stayed at the same hotel as Jon and Kate plus Eight when they went to San Diego on their way to Hawaii.
- Made Jambalaya for the first time.
-Ate a lot of food with Jon while he was visiting Texas.

At Paradise Pointe Resort in San Diego.

February
- Spent my favorite holiday with Jamie.
- Did my own taxes for the first time
- Found a new hair stylist of of Sixth Street after asking her for a kiss for Bing for his birthday.
- Sent out Valentine cards and packages.

Celebrated Bing’s birthday on Sixth Street. The night I met my hair dresser.

March
- Watched a lot of movies and cooked a lot of dinners with Alan.
- Cindy came up to visit. Introduced her finally to Flip Happy Crepes.
- I got about 3 hours of sleep a night.
- I go to San Diego for work yet again and stay at a hotel that had sex toys in their mini bar available to purchase.
- I search for a Madam Mam’s replacement. (Never found it)
- I celebrated Brandi’s birthday with Jessica. This is the 2nd time in 2008 we managed to spend some time together. We went downtown for her birthday and ate at Hula Hut.

With my girls, celebrating Brandi’s birthday. I wish this year we saw each other more. There was a time a year or two ago we saw each other once a week at least.

April
- I go to Second Chance Prom with Neville. Sweet since I didn’t have a date to my highs school prom. Well.. Liz was my date :)
- I meet my little and take her to celebrate Earth Day at Republic Square.
- I take a fabulous vacation to NYC (originally suppose to include Boston too and visit Mary Ellen but her paper got accepted into a conference). I got to see the Jennifers and Jon. Jon was my lovely host. (entry, entry, entry, entry)
- Had my first Brazilian Wax. Yikes.
- The father of two of the kids I’ve babysat since both of them were born, died.

Jon and I in NY.

May
- My brother graduates college! My parents came up to see him walk.
- Alan and I didn’t renew our lease and I started to mourn the apartment. I was in love with our location and view.
- Continue to babysit for the boys who lost their father. Started with the night of the memorial service and then the funeral.
- Selina asked me to be her bridesmaid.
- My brother turned 23. Making me feel old.

Our view.

June
- Go to funnest book signing I’ve been to with Si Nae and her boyfriend. We went to see Chuck Palahniuk promote Snuff. He threw out blow up dolls.
- I worked a lot.
- I saw a lot of movies with Alan.

Si Nae, her boy, and Chuck Palahniuk!

July
- Alan and I moved out and stopped being roommates :( But it was a good move for us :).
- Went to Florida for the first time to get Mary Ellen married. Flew in a few days early and I joined her clan in cooking, building, bitching, bonding, all in the name of love and the most beautiful wedding I’ve been to yet. It was pretty much a DIY wedding and you can see the labor of love in everything. The baby food jars around the garden sheltering tea light candles, the fireworks/crackers, the dance floor her uncles and aunts built, the cascading fruit basket one of her uncle fashioned at 3 in the morning the night before the wedding, etc. SO many details that were not only beautiful on its own, but also in the labor and thought and love that it represented.
- I take a Thursday off of work and Brandi and Jessica and I hang out for the third time this year. They treated me to a trip to Schiltterbahn for my birthday. Last year it was Sea World.
- Turned 25. Jen T who normally only comes once or twice a year happened to be in town for my birthday :). Si Nae dropped by flowers. I had a pretty birthday cake in the shape of a snow globe. I celebrated with friends. Felt special. Alan took me out to a romantic dinner and bought me a cell phone. It was a good birthday. Though I hate that I’m now 25.

Birthday celebration.

August
- Lily teaches us to make sushi.
- Alan introduces me to Mikados. I mention this because now we go here fairly often for sushi. I’ve yet to take him to Musashinos.
- Cindy comes and stays with me for almost 2 months for her pharmacy school rotation.
- I take my little to her first play. Jack and the Beanstalk.
- Nisreen and Nino get engaged and Nisreen asks me to be one of her bridesmaids.

Sushi making night

September
- I take my certification test and am now certified in clinical research.
- I go to the Domain with Nisreen to study for that test. We go just looking around for her wedding dress and we actually FIND it at St. Thomas.
- I fly to Orlando for work, wishing Alan had gone.
- I take my little to her first UT football game.
- Cindy and I try to learn about football.

So it wouldn’t just be for me why I wanted Alan in Orlando with me. Lookit the golf course!

October
- To my surprise, I’m taken by UT football. Really taken after watching OU game. I thought I had burnt out on football forever, but it’s really quite addicting.
- Alan takes me to see UT/Missouri game.
- Alan had a birthday.
- I dress up as a Hula girl for Halloween.

Kissing Meatwad.

November
- Ran my first 5k with Nisreen, Katambra, and Melissa.
- Jessica has a birthday, so the three of us (Brandi, Jessica, and I) reunite for the fourth time this year. FOUR times. That’s so sad. We go to Pete’s Dueling Pianos with plans to go to ren fest again but Brandi got struck with hives.
- I practically live at work.
- My brother breaks in his apartment by hosting a Thanksgiving meal. He makes his first turkey. Delicious!
- I take my little to the Paramount theatre for the first time. We see The Hungry Caterpillar. Then I have a mini high school reunion.
- I take Thanksgiving week off from work and spend a week in Houston.
- I see fireworks with Kim and kind of Chris.

Nisreen pours everyone a double shot of bourbon at my brother’s Thanksgiving dinner.

December
- I finish paying off my car :) One of my New Year’s Resolutions. I bought in July 2007. Not bad, if I do say so myself.
- I spend Christmas in Houston.
- On the 26th of December, Kim and I for the 2nd time release balloons for New Years. We’re stunned that this time around, we do not have any regrets to write on that regret balloon. Instead, we write what we want to stay away from. Good times with Ms. Kim.
- I get to see my best friend, Mary Ellen. Second time this year. First time being for her wedding in July.
- I go back on Saturday (today) to get some work done and to spend NYE in Austin. With friends and beau.

Our balloons. Purple = wishes. Pink = what we’ll stay away from. Since we didn’t have regrets this year.

It’s been a good year. I read 10 books, ate a lot of Pho, and laughed a lot.

(New things of the week bolded as usual)

Friday, with Bing’s company, I brought a new car. A royal blue Honda Civic EX. Had dinner afterwards with Michael. Then went out for Bill’s birthday.

Managed to snatch him 5 kisses from attractive girls for his birthday.

That was Friday night/morning. I got home at around 4. An hour and 15 minutes later Jessica from Joy Luck Club called to wake me up for SeaWorld. Brandi and Jessica’s birthday present to me this year is a trip to SeaWorld. Jessica dragged me out of bed, we went to pick up Brandi, IHOPed it, and then got to SeaWorld as it opened. As promised, we were there from open to close. First time I ever spent a full day at an amusement park. Ever tried to do that on one hour of sleep? We went on 2 roller coasters, 4 water rides, saw 3 shows (I only fell asleep during one of those shows), fed and pet the dolphins, visited the penguins, visited the sharks, had banana split dipping dots, and chilled at the wave pool. They saved me from drowning once.

Unfortunately, we used disposable cameras so I don’t have photos to share yet. I had a blast. I love Jessica and Brandi.

I also decided I want a pet whale.

Sunday, I recouped.

$4,800 from Insurance company.
$6,000 loan from generous private parties (0 interest!)
+ Full expenditure of emergency fund (I.E. 99% of savings account)
_____________________________________________________
biggest check written in my life.

Good thing today is payday. eaotjeaoitjaoitjaoeitj

Plans change. Shit happens. Moan if only for a little and then revamp your plans and hop to it.

So much easier said then done. It’s hard to let go of that master plan. Whatever it is. A job that extends you luxuries you dreamed of as an undergrad. A boy that was suppose to be the one. A car that was suppose to last 2 more years to give you more time to save for a better car. Perpetual lessons in life yet it doesn’t cease to stun us each time we relearn it. Starting over from scratch reminds me of the futility and absurdity of life. It doesn’t really matter what you’ve acquired and accomplished, it could be swept away quickly and randomly. Maybe the Buddhists were onto something when they encourage you to not form attachments to anything. That that is one of the sources of pain. Hm.

I went car shopping for the first time in my life. Bing took me. Test drove an Altima and a Camry. I fell in love with the Altima.. I love the proximity smart key thing and the leather package complete with sun roof and butt warmers. But I just can’t afford it on top of other bills. I WAS a little delusional at first.. but Michael with the help of Excel spreadsheets brought me back to earth. Looks I have to settle for a more economical car. Another Corolla or a Civic then.

I guess better to lose a car than other things. (Knock on wood)

That’s my car on Friday night. I ran a yellow light and just when it turned red, a car was turning left right into me. Only 74,000 miles. 2000 model. 7 years. My first car accident. Bummed beyond belief. It was supposed to last me at least another two years, for me to start cushioning up my finances. Heh, my last words to Michael on the phone was “I’m running a yellow….. oh, FUCK!”

Good things: I’m okay and alive. It happened pretty close to Michael’s house so I wasn’t alone as I would be had it happened right in the middle of Austin and Dallas. He helped distract me of my current financial hell. He gave me a ride back to Austin. I have good friends.

Dammit. Just, dammit.