This week’s writing prompt is social etiquette. There is one social gaffe that is, sadly, near and dear to my heart: approaching Asian women in the bar scene. The Asian fetish nursed by men for decades now in the US has led to some disastrous come ons. The fetish doesn’t bother me. Everyone has a type. I will say though, that you and I will have a less miserable night if you don’t make it obvious you have a broad attraction to a minority demographic. In that interest, let me share a few tips on how not to approach Asian women without appearing ignorant and being offensive.
How Not to Hit on Asian Women
photo credit
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Do not greet us in a random Asian language. Most times you’ll pick the wrong language and even if you get it right, it’s a turn off how presumptuous you are. If you would like to show us your Asian vocabulary, how about smoothly asking us what our ethnicity is first?
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Does “Ching Chong Chang” even mean anything in any language? Don’t do that. Don’t make fun of us. I don’t care what Mr. E, the Pickup Artist says.
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Do not mention everyone in your life who is Asian. We do not care if your brother’s girlfriend is Chinese or Korean. We do not care if you know someone from Bangkok. There are no brownie points for knowing one of our “kind.”
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Do not call us Lisa Ling or Lucy Liu or Miss [insert Asian last name here].
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If you ask for our name and we give it to you, do not act surprised and ask us what our “real” name is. (Yes, Jerkface, my name IS Linda. Sorry to not fulfill your stereotypical expectations.)
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Do not assume we’re not from here. Some of us were born here, you know? Asking us when we came over to the States is NOT a good opening line.