Photo Credit: Thomas Chen
As a daughter, sister, friend, girlfriend, I always aspire to offer emotional support to my people. To be there for my loved ones when life throws them lemons. Divorce. Illnesses. Layoffs. I’ll be the ear, the shoulder, the eyes, whatever it is they need that is within my power. These things happen to the best of us. I’ve been blessed to have a great support system that has and will continue to do the same for me. However, what about the things we have more control over? Like our decisions?
More often now that we’re all growing up, we’re faced with bigger decisions with bigger consequences. Should we buy a house on our income and savings? Is it the right time to get married? Should I quit my job during a recession? Should I go to law school? Are we ready for a baby? Big giant decisions here and everyone and their mommas has an opinion on how you should decide your life. Hell, I’ve had some pretty strong reactions to some of the decisions my friends were contemplating and making. I’ve vehemently prayed and hoped they’d go one way over the other. In the end though, I remind myself that it’s their lives, their decisions. Once the decisions are made, as long as there’s no reckless endangerment or criminal behavior, I put on my optimistic pants and hope for the best. This is regardless of whether or not their decisions align with how I feel they should decide their life. Sometimes my loved ones give me anxiety pain because I’m so worried about what they might do and what possible havoc might follow but I brace myself with them. This is the kind of support I aim to provide. Of course there are limits, but this is generally my intent.
It disappoints and puzzles me that this intent isn’t always reciprocated or even practiced. Some people actually feel justified cutting off relationships because the person in question is “making stupid decisions.” Again, I understand there are limits. Aside from issues such as alcoholism, unprotected hook ups, driving while under the influence, being in an abusive relationship, and breaking laws, sure these are atrocious crimes and endanger the general public. Don’t support these decisions. Don’t be there. Kick at them. They probably deserve it. In other matters though? Careers, relationships, some financial, etc., why not live and let live. That’s my motto. Who are you anyway to judge?