Category: pursuit of happiness

Baby Steps

January 26th, 2012 · · pursuit of happiness 26 comments - Tags:

I have been in a funk for a couple of long months now. It has affected my blog posting frequency. When I’m down and out I hate blogging about it. It feels repetitive, unproductive, burdensome, and negative. When I’m down and out, I like attacking things with action or I ruminate over it until it compels me into action.

It feels so contradictory to feel both extremely happy and discontent at the same time. I’m happy with my social life and relationships. I’m in a wonderful place with Alan. It’s been 5 months since moving in with him and we’ve found that comfortable pace. I see my friends when I can, call the long distance ones semi-regularly, and have tried over 50 recipes in the last 5 months. I feel fulfilled outside of work. So these things make me very happy. It’s the lack of direction and calling that makes me feel restless.

A little over two weeks ago, as part of the 30 Day Reinvention, I was prompted to evaluate these pieces of my life: Confidence, Education, Career, Finances, Heath, Physical Activity, Home Cooking, Relationships, Social Life, Creativity, Spirituality, Home Environment. I gave myself grades and the only A’s and B’s I granted myself were in Creativity, Education, Home Cooking, Relationships, and Social Life. This leaves me a lot of areas to improve.

After a while of self-pity and stewing, I’m finally compelled to action. Baby steps. I’m baby stepping out of my rut. I’ve made time for the elliptical machine and for long walks on Town Lake almost every night the last two weeks. I’ve been writing in my journal most mornings. I’ve reinstated my 15 minutes a day of decluttering and an hour a week of cleaning on top of that. Hell, I’ve even flossed for three nights straight! I got my parking ticket waived and sent off payment for my speeding ticket. I’ve finally logged into LinkedIn and updated my connections. All these are incremental tiny steps. One foot after the other. Just like Bill Murray in one of my favorite movies.

What I know about baby steps is that it may feel like nothing is happening, but a year later when you look up, the scenery will have changed. Here’s hoping for better scenery!


Question: How do you feel about these areas of your life: Confidence, Education, Career, Finances, Heath, Physical Activity, Home Cooking, Relationships, Social Life, Creativity, Spirituality, Home Environment?

Wordless Wednesday: 5th Annual New Year’s Balloon Release

January 11th, 2012 · · pursuit of happiness, still-frames 18 comments - Tags: , , ,



Want to read more on this tradition?
4th Year Photos and Quotes
3rd Year Photos and Explanation of Tradition

For more Wordless Wednesdays from others, click here.

Endeavor

December 20th, 2011 · · pursuit of happiness, Reverb10 25 comments

Last year, I did few Reverb10 prompts in December. The first one was to encapsulate the year 2010 in one word and pick one word for 2011. Here’s what I wrote:

My 2010 word: centering

2009 was kind of in disarray for me. I was disillusioned by my work situation and running haggard. I quit my job in the depths of a recession without a job lined up. After which, I visited San Francisco with Alan and Boston to see bestie. I scrambled for another job and was unemployed for 5 months. I got certified to become a middle school biology teacher that cost me over 1000 dollars to attain but then couldn’t bring myself to apply to teaching jobs. I was occupationally unfocused. I had a falling out with a couple of friends that affected a wider circle of friends. I had a lot of highs and many great memories but the ride was bumpy and emotionally I felt very unsettled.

2010 was all about centering myself. I’m more at peace in my relationships. I’m more at peace with myself. I recouped the savings I spent while unemployed. I did not travel anywhere to save that money. I’ve had more time to sit and be with by myself which was a luxury I did not give myself in 2009. The alone time allowed me to read almost double the books I read in 2009, keep a cleaner and more organized home, write more letters to my long distance loves, and create more. I prioritized my true friends and stopped wasting as much time with the acquaintances. All of which had a centering affect on my soul. The unease of 2009 has dissipated and I’m feeling grounded.

My 2011 word: endeavor

In 2011, I want to try my hands on more instead of idly daydreaming. I want to knock on more doors and set more things in motion. Maybe I’ll fall into something fantastic.

At the tail end of 2011, I think I want to pick the same word for 2012. I mentioned previously that I’m in funk because I feel like I haven’t found that calling.

This year, I kept my heart open and dabbled in a few more hobbies and fulfilled all my travel resolutions. Vancouver with Alan and road-tripping in the East Coast with my BFF are definite highlights of the year.

I finally overcame my fear of cooking Vietnamese food. Making Vietnamese food for the first time in my life made me feel closer to my roots. In cooking some of the dishes my mom used to make me growing up, I felt a connection to her. I am a bona fide daddy’s girl. I talk to my dad every weekday but only talk to my mom a few times a month. In researching and googling Asian ingredients, I felt a deeper appreciation for the care my mom provided me as a child. It also gave me more reasons to call her and seek her culinary advice.

I discovered the joy of collaboration. I have a product idea simmering with Deesh and Brandi. I have another project with Kim that I’m really excited about but haven’t had the time to develop. (The holidays kind of sneaked up on us!) I share a Youtube Channel with four lovely, smart, and funny girls that started in May. I was more active in the Austin food scene and even scored a cameo on a cable TV show because of it. I surrounded myself with inspiring people.

Maybe I’m laying down the bricks of something huge.

So again, in 2012 I choose the word endeavor. In hopes to find a path that feels right.


Question: What word encapsulates your year?

Friday 7 Quick Takes (vol 72)

December 16th, 2011 · · 7 Quick Takes (Fridays), Big Brothers & Big Sisters of America, holidays, pursuit of happiness 25 comments - Tags: ,


1.

This week on Totes Awesome Channel, we talk about dreams.


Youtube Link

I dream about food a lot and once my friend and I both dreamed the same dream on the same night.


2.

I haven’t touched either of my blogs all week. I’ve been feeling kind of insignificant and withdrawn. That I’m not doing anything worthwhile. I know this feeling will pass and it’s really a symptom of my not knowing where I’m supposed to be going. I’m almost out of my twenties and still knee deep in that Quarter Life Crisis. I’m slowly pulling out of this mood by telling myself to have patience and to keep searching.


3.


I could start a new category on my blog about my extracurricular failures. I tried using the sewing machine for the first time without my mom hovering. Luckily I used scrap fabric to practice before attempting sofa cushions because I totally mucked it up.

I got all tangled up and could not extract the scrap from my machine. The machine (with attached piece of fabric) is going back to Houston with me to get more lessons from momma.

Oops!


4.

Speaking of failure, I ordered my Christmas gift for my niece and nephew. I’ve never met them. My sister and I lost touch for 16 years and finally reconnected over Facebook last year. Anyway, the package was delivered December 7th. Perfect timing to wrap it with my sister’s gift and mail it. Except I totally shipped it to my old apartment and now it’s in forwarding limbo. It has been “forwarding” since the 7th and I only live 20 miles away from my old address. It’s likely I won’t be able to ship it out in time. I’m already failing at being an aunt!

Grumble, grumble.


5.

I’ve been conscious about being a little more receptive of Christmas cheer. I went to three holiday parties last weekend! Fun ones too. My friend Jamie hosted a potluck, I went to the annual Christmas party for Big Brothers Big Sisters, and Austin Food Bloggers Alliance had a little party. It was my fourth BBBS Christmas party with my little. I’m loving that we’ve been matched together for almost 4 years now! Lastly, I joined the Austin Food Bloggers Alliance for a competitive game of White Elephant. I got too greedy and picked the most popular gift (mandolin) and got stuck with a corkscrew. (The theme was kitchen gadgets.)



I’ve tweeted at Shelley for two years now and we finally met at the Austin Food Blogger’s Christmas Party!

P.S. Christmas music still makes me want to gag.


6.

Speaking of Christmas cheer, I received some goodies in the mail! Abby sent me a pretty journal. I’m nearing the end of mine and am thinking about jumping straight to the one she got me. (I always have a few blank journals in a queue.) Bree sent me a surprise package. Postman told me it looked like it had gone through war. Hee. She got me a novel, wine journal (I LOVE THEMED JOURNALS!), and wine flashcards. I’m on my way to becoming a lush! Thank you, ladies!

My sister sent me a fun package that included a mini red Christmas tree! Y’all know my Christmas decor is very limited (4 stockings and 3 snow globes), so this tree really livens up my dining table.


7.

This week’s moments of bliss: ♥ making my first successful pumpkin pies ♥ having a focus for my Sketchbook Project ♥ I have a relationship with my sister! ♥ gorging on ginger snaps ♥ puff pastry ♥ cheese ♥ persimmons ♥ making it through a really long and cranky week ♥ dreaming about 2012 ♥ emergency chocolate stash ♥ sweet package from Abby ♥ surprise package from an anonymous friend ♥ surprise package from Bree


Question: When’s the last time you made a mistake? Tell me about it.

Girls’ Night In with Holiday Twist

December 5th, 2011 · · holidays, pursuit of happiness 22 comments - Tags: ,

Thanks to Duncan Hines for sponsoring my writing. There’s no limit to the baking possibilities, so grab your favorite Duncan Hines mix and Comstock or Wilderness fruit fillings and Bake On! www.duncanhines.com.


* * *

It’s that time of year, friends. I’ve recently explained in my last Totes Awesome Channel vlog why I’m not a big fan of Christmas. My parents worked on holidays and I grew up with it not being that big of deal and also quite lonely since everyone else was with his or her families. I guess the sullenness just carried with me through the years. My friends would clap their hands in glee and go a little bonkers with their holiday decorating and I would just crinkle my nose at them and bite my tongue.

This year I decided to adopt a more positive outlook about this season. I hate that I was such a grump! I’m usually a positive person and being a sourpuss just isn’t me. I’m going to give in to this “magical” season. I’m going to open up my heart.

So what have I done so far to cultivate a more positive outlook? Well I bought my first set of Christmas lights, pulled out the few winter snow globes I own (gifts), dangled a couple of stockings on door knobs, and then called a few girls over to have a girl’s night in over brownies, hot chocolate, a bottle of Moscato, and Love Actually. Love Actually is the best Christmas movie ever! Even scrooges like my former self could not help but be charmed by that movie.

Cradling a mug of hot chocolate and chatting with my friends under the glow of Christmas lights warmed my cold heart. (I managed to find marshmallows that were shaped as little snowmen!) The brownies offered a lingering fragrance as well as decadent snack. I can see myself making this my first holiday tradition.

Who knows, maybe next year I’ll get a tree!


* * *


Remember to check out Duncan Hines’ website www.duncanhines.com to find some great recipes for your holiday get-together! I was selected for this sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective.

Weekend Recap

November 28th, 2011 · · National Blog Posting Month '11, pursuit of happiness, still-frames 13 comments - Tags: ,

Saturday, I spent the entire day with Kim, Thomas, and company.

I surprised Kim with glitter tattoos.

Then we proceeded to brand all of our friends.


(this photo by Thomas)

And gave our tattoos life by making them dance and drink.


(this photo by Thomas)

We had one of our progressive meals and ate at five places and aspired towards seven. (Two of the places were closed!)

We helped put up Kim’s tree and then made paper cranes to decorate it.

After our dinner, we parted ways and I was going to end the perfect day having a pajama party with Kim and building a fort. On our way to her place, my car started to make this terrifying thumping sound while we were on the freeway. I inadvertently exited into a tollway without having the necessary tag and it took us quite a while driving with this noise before feeling like it was safe enough to pull over (i.e. not on a highway shoulder or into a seedy dark gas station.) Turns out my bumper got loose and was flapping against my tire. We drove at a crawl to Kim’s place and accidentally drove deep into a very dark and wooded area off of the freeway. TERRIFYING. There was another lone car with us that felt sketchy!

I canceled fort night with Kim. It didn’t feel right being out in Houston with a maimed car. I was really disappointed to miss the pajama fort party but it was still an awesome day. We played hard and didn’t get killed. I like Kim’s pithy recap.

Kim 11:11 PM to me

one of the best days, for sure.

and so simple! good food, company of friends (old and new), listening to records, driving in the rain, sparkly tattoos, taking pictures, putting up christmas trees, cracking jokes, almost getting murdered in the secret woods next to the freeway…

I was supposed to drive back to Austin on Sunday (yesterday) but had to stay so I can take my car in today. I was too nervous to drive my car so I canceled what little plans I had and spent the entire day reading. I finished A Beautiful Boy (affiliate link), a memoir of a father navigating his son’s drug addictions. Captivating and depressing. Thus the chocolate milk.

Aside from the car troubles, I really had such a wonderful weekend. There were many great moments I just want to memorize so I can revisit on gloomy days. I hope my car troubles get fixed today. I can’t wait to get back to my bed, dog, and boyfriend.


Question: What is your favorite memory from the weekend?

31 Stress Busters

November 20th, 2011 · · lists, National Blog Posting Month '11, pursuit of happiness 14 comments - Tags:

Last weekend, Barb Steinberg, LMSW lead a workshop on how to empower girls. One of the ways she mentioned was to have them make a list of “stress busters.” Stress busters are things you do to relax and self soothe. And even though the workshop was catered to young girls, having a tool box of things that calm and relax you is a life skill everyone should have. In an effort to remind myself to take time out, here’s my list of stress busters.


31 Stress Busters



photo credit

  1. Reading
  2. Cuddling
  3. Dancing
  4. Preening
  5. Taking bubble baths
  6. Taking hot showers
  7. Baking
  8. Journaling
  9. Dancing
  10. Playing with pets
  11. Playing with children
  12. Decluttering
  13. Exercising
  14. Cleaning
  15. Connecting with friends
  16. Breathing
  17. Performing random acts of kindness
  18. Watching favorite TV shows
  19. Saying no when feeling overextended
  20. Saying yes to only the things I truly want to do
  21. Paying down debt
  22. Creating something (even if it’s just a napkin doodle!)
  23. Meal planning to reduce amount of money and time spent at grocery stores
  24. Getting enough sleep
  25. Staying hydrated
  26. Treating myself
  27. Admiring scenery (e.g.: look up at the clouds, notice the sunset, appreciate the beauty of flowers)
  28. Getting the hard action items off my to do list first
  29. Dating myself (e.g.: solo trips to movies, restaurants, and museums)
  30. Laughing
  31. Sipping on a warm beverage


Question: What’s on your list of stress busters?

Friends of Proximity

November 8th, 2011 · · love, memory, National Blog Posting Month '11, pursuit of happiness 29 comments - Tags: ,

Making friends with people I routinely see is easy. Be along side someone everyday of the week and the chances of stumbling on some awesome commonalities go up. I think that’s why people label friends in their lives by venue. High school friend, college friend, neighbor friend, church friend, work friend, camp friend, Internet friend. We pay homage to the chapters and locations of our lives that made these friendships possible. As I’ve grown older and became more keen of life’s patterns, I recognized that most friendships don’t survive the ending of proximity. Most people I meet aren’t still in touch with their high school friends (My tiny high school and the friendships I see still fostered on Facebook are an aberration.) I’ve adored many coworkers but have managed to only keep 4-5 as friends after holding 10 jobs in my life time. I’m always saddened when I leave chapters not only because I know that life will be uncertain until I find my next groove, but also because I have to leave the people behind. There’s just not enough time and room for everyone you meet and share french fries with to continue on in your life.

My college friend, Deesh likes to remind me of that one time we took a final in our final semester in 2005 of college together. I had asked him if he thought we’d still be friends after college. He laughed because he couldn’t imagine it otherwise. Cynical, I just thought he was being a bit naive. Maybe he was, but it’s now been over 5 years since graduation and I’m having dinner with him Thursday. In September, I blogged that I was sad that Jessica moved away and got married and I mourned the loss of our friendship. Just a couple months later, we reunited for a weekend. Last year for VEDA, I watched 20-30 people post a vlog everyday for the month of August. It was our first year doing it and at the end, I thought, “Man, another chapter done. I probably won’t keep in touch with most of these awesome people.” Now I share a collab channel with four of the girls I met and tweet at a slew of them still. We make plans to meet each other even.

I wanted to take a moment and marvel at some of these friendships. My college friend Kym and I really just spent one summer together 5 years ago and yet I email her weekly. Kim and I met in 2001 in college and I email her DAILY and see her when I’m in Houston. Cindy and I only really shared a few months of living in the same town when we first met. I respect the importance and fond memories of friends whom life physically moved away and with them the friendship dissipated, but the friendships I managed to keep alive with emails, phone calls, chats, letters, and care packages, they really have a special place in my heart. You can say there’s no closer proximity than the friendships you carry with you.

This post is written in dedication to my BFF, a high school life friend.

Weekend Recap

November 7th, 2011 · · memory, National Blog Posting Month '11, pursuit of happiness, Stars of my Life, still-frames 24 comments - Tags: , ,

Jessica, a close friend of Brandi’s and mine, moved away over a year ago. We saw her just once since then and it was at her wedding. A happy occasion but not the perfect time to catch up. We reunited finally over the weekend and traveled south for a day to attend the Texas Renaissance Festival. We’ve gone twice before. To put a fun spin on things, we decided to skip out on most of the activities we’ve done before (no more riding elephants!) and pick the attractions we’ve never done.

So we started with face painting. Even as a child, I’ve never had my face painted!




Then we shot bow and arrows. We picked the heavier bows. 27 lbs, when weaker armed individuals should start at 20 lbs. I don’t know what I’m talking about; I’m just repeating what the guy said. All I know is that I could barely pull the string back!


Then we threw knives. I’ve never thrown knives. Turns out, I throw knives like I throw darts. (Poorly.)

Of course we had to conserve some of our traditions. We ate the same foods and took photos with some characters!




It was an exceptional day.


Question: What did you do this weekend?

Landing on My Feet

November 3rd, 2011 · · National Blog Posting Month '11, pursuit of happiness 23 comments - Tags:

Anytime I’m faced with having to do something that terrifies me, I conjure up the memory of a very specific day when I was 23. I’ve done this when I quit my job, when I had to speak a vulnerable truth, when I let go of a relationships, any time I face a powerful fear. I never thought that day would become a profound moment in my life.

As a 23 year old, I was pretty much fearless. Dying never occurred to me and heights never bothered me, so one day I decided on a whim to jump out of a plane. Last week, I reposted an old entry from my now defunct Xanga about what it was like to go skydiving. At the time, naviete kept me going until the moment I was pushed out of the plane. The decision to skydive, and even the dive itself, were just an adventure that I was determined to experience.

I remember thinking rather dumbly during the first few seconds of free falling, “Well, I hope I live.”

It’s an awesome feeling, free falling. The mind chatter and anxiety that had seemed so important give way to a surge of adrenaline. I felt at once powerful and vulnerable jumping out of that plane, the same way I feel when having an uncomfortable conversation with someone or quitting a job.

Recently, it’s clicking that I reflect on this moment more than I realize. Every time I’ve done something scary, I am again free falling and trusting that I’ll land on my feet.

In skydiving, after the tumbling and discomfort and the adjusting to changes, my chute opens, and then I can breathe again.

And then I land on my feet.

I land on my feet after all that commotion.

That’s the take away. Some of life’s big decisions will result in discomfort and hurt and more fear, but after I grin and bear it, I land on my feet.